I've picked my things up from Linny's...all one bag of it...and am waiting for another friend, Maxine, to meet me here. She's lending me her place for the week while she's away on some kind of a course. She's a Career Girl.
So, Linny gets her place back....and I move on to borrow someone else's bed.
I can't go on like this.
You know, it feels like I'm holding myself back. Like I'm scared to start living my own life, with just me to take responsibility and me to make the choices. I'm a grown-up woman, not a 16 year old! How ridiculous is that?
Anyway, I was scribbling a list of things on the back of the Sunday newspaper....
'I AM strong'
'I AM confident'
'I AM brave'
'I AM independent'
'I AM capable'
I was just getting to the 'I AM starting my new life today' when Maxine sits down opposite me, peers over at what I'm writing and says "Oh! I thought you were Alex?"
Now, I would normally call her a Smart***, but as you can see, I've joined the 'Kind Blog' group today and so, this New Me is going to be Nice.
I attempted a laugh in reply but needn't have bothered, she laughed loudly enough for both of us.
Slinging her keys down on the table just hard enough to knock my coffee over, she peered over at me, too close for my liking.
"Hmmmn. For someone who's just been to Mauritius, you're horribly pale. Too self-conscious to bare some flesh, were you?"
I smiled through slightly clenched teeth.
"Pale's beautiful, don't you know? Skin cancer and all that....Thanks Max, I owe you", and I was gone.
About this 'KIND' thing.
I don't want to be angry or bitter anymore. I don't want to waste my energy thinking horrible things about HIM (except I do hope it rained every day in Mauritius), I just want to move on and concentrate on me and my new life. I'm finding alot of kind people are out there, so I'd rather give my time and energy to them instead. This is the new good, kind, strong, confident me!
Oh, and about Maxine.
Yes, I'm sure she knew all along I hadn't been to Mauritius. She just likes to score points. But- she's lending me her place for a week, and that's a nice thing to do.
Oh, and did I mention that she's actually His friend?
I promise- by Wednesday next week, I'll have a job.
Really.
2 comments:
Baby steps to get to the goal, my friend. You're doing fine.
But after the week at Maxine's, maybe you should avoid her in the future? Just a guess, but maybe you don't need her sort of negativity in your life.
Hugs from West of Mars! (but look out for Trevor; he's trying to grab your ass!)
Just thought I'd pop by and make sure everything's OK. You've been blog-silent for a while, and I hope you'll drop me a line when you reconnect online.
All the best.
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